July 13, 2008

Brazilian Senate pays US$30.000 a MONTH for a 160×61 banner

Filed under: Local Nonsense — Cardoso @ 3:26 pm

The amount sums an outrageous yearly US$350.000, and the banner is this one:

bannersenado

No, this is not a Internet-wide marketing campaign. It´s a SINGLE BANNER in a not-that-popular website, www.paraiba.com.br, with a meek 208.667 Alexa ranking.

It´s not the first time, last year they aired the banner, too. But charged ONLY US$25.000,00 A MONTH for their trouble.

The entire transaction is online:

senado1

Link to the details of the operation - Brazilian Senate Website, translated by Google.

Oh, it´s not the only contract, looks like the R$48.000,00 monthly fee is standard to the Brazilian Senate: http://www.senado.gov.br/sf/contratos/empresaContratada.asp?o=1&e=R%C1DIO+E+TV+PARAIBANA

June 14, 2008

- Battlestar Galactica - Panorama View of the last scene - SPOILER ALERT

Filed under: TV & Media — Cardoso @ 2:13 pm

I have no words. What an ending. Too bad we’ve to wait until 2009. The Planet of the Apes ending was something I usually don’t like, but when we have a Planet of The Apes ending and still half-a-season to go…

Now the questions. Is that Earth? I DON’T KNOW.

But it looks like it. Well, check for yourself, a quick-and-dirty panorama. Looks familiar? Is that the Brooklin Bridge?

bsg1701

You know the drill. Click to enlarge.

June 6, 2008

Bootlegged Indiana Jones copy? Try a Brazilian bus

Filed under: Local Nonsense, TV & Media — Cardoso @ 3:50 am

Outrageous, a total disrespect.

Last Wednesday, June the 4th, I was travelling from Rio de Janeiro to São Paulo, a 6 hour bus trip, nice to relax in a wide, 1st class seat, when the in flight, I mean, in drive movie started.

The movie? Check the video below:

Can’t play video? Have some pictures:

indy1

indy2

Yes, Virginia. They played Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

On a crappy 14" rounded-screen CRT TV, mono sound, a bootlegged copy without ending credits and opening ones in German. Of, dubbed in Portuguese.

They RUINED my experience. I was planing to watch the movie in a big real theatre, next weekend. I’m not a saint but I believe some movies deserve to be enjoyed on a REAL cinema screen. Some others are just POSs we watch to kill time, and those can be watched via YouTube. (I’m talking to you, Uwe Boll).

Specially, if I pay for a movie, if it’s included in my ticket price, I think it should be fair to watch a REAL movie, not a pirated, US$5 copy.

I’ll watch the movie today, after lunch, but it will not be the same. Great work, Autoviação 1001. You guys ruined a 20-years wait.

Hope Paramount take your company to the Courts and rip you a new one.

June 1, 2008

Hans Reiser Made In Brazil?

Filed under: TV & Media — Cardoso @ 7:26 am

ScreenShot006

The guy in the photo is Luciano de Almeida, he stabbed his 16 years old girlfriend back in February. The newspaper reporting his arrest says the victim was "shreded" and the killer drunk her blood.

Looks like he is a literal "hacker".

Source: Charles

May 13, 2008

Microsoft Telescope sucks and I can prove it

Filed under: Humour — Cardoso @ 3:15 pm

Microsoft Research released today their WorldWide Telescope, they claim it accesses terabytes of astronomical data, seamlessly joining the pictures to form a never before seen educational tool. But hey, come on, Mr Gates, you can do better than that. Where are those so-called terabytes, if I can´t find anything? Let´s check some of the queries your tool was not able to provide an answer:

telescope1

Yes, Commander Adama, you´re on your own. All you have is that crazy blonde biatch to guide your rag-tag fleet, don´t count on Microsoft WorldWide Telescope.

telescope2

No, you can´t go back home, either. And no, Mr Gaeta, we´re not there yet.

telescope3

I think the MS Telescope does not reach the farthest planet from the bright center of the Universe.

telescope4

Oh come on, not even the Capital of the Empire? What are you rebelling against, Microsoft?

telescope5

Another nice planet (well, if you´re some warmonger, anyway) Microsoft chooses to ignore. They never listen to anyone, should change the address to "This island, Redmond".

telescope6

I see. No love for jocks wearing fur speedos. Pretending they don´t exist will not make teh ghey go away, Microsoft.

 

telescope7

Ming will not be pleased.

 

telescope8

To be fair the planet is gone, but the Telescope should be able to show a debris cloud, lots of dirty diapers and Kirstie Alley´s lost hotness…

telescope9

I CAN HAZ THIRD EARTH?

telescope10

OK, that one I do not blame Microsoft. The world is a better place if we pretend Highlander 2 never existed.

April 28, 2008

Cops force two arrested guys to make out

Filed under: Local Nonsense, TV & Media — Cardoso @ 12:34 am


From what I could find about the story: The two were arrested after a house robbery, because instead of fleeing the crime place, they started to fight about the sharing of the booty.

When the police arrived, they were still fighting. Sooo… the cops decided that it was time to make peace, or better, make love, not war. Ordered to make out, they had no choice, after all Brazilian police can be very persuasive, with arguments from .38 to 9mm, not to mention the .380 ones.

Someone, possibly a cop filmed the whole love scene, using a cell phone. Yes, they french-kiss a little, and one of the guys really looks like he’s enjoying the whole thing.

Will someone be arrested? Other than the two lovebirds, no one, but I think a lot of NGOs will raise a little hell about the story.

Is it a sign of a new, softer Brazilian police? Nahhhhhh…. but it’s still way better than the on-site executions so popular back in the 80s among the Death Squads.

March 14, 2008

I don’t give a damn about Islam

Filed under: Personal — Cardoso @ 3:28 pm

What’s that about 72 virgins, burning embassies, killing cartoonists and preaching the Religion of Peace(tm) while beheading infidels?

And what about those fanatics immolating themselves?



Your dear Khomeini is dead? I don’t give a fuck, and I think his beard was silly, too. Thousands slashing themselves, bleeding like goats? That’s plain old barbarism. Please, dear islam, evolve. The 12th century welcomes you.

Oh, BTW: The rest of the world don’t think the prophet Mohammed is the rat’s ass, either, and we will not suck-up him all the time. YOU can brownnose him as much as you like, but do not ask US to do the same. I don’t ask you to worship Scarlett Johanson. And you should. Man, you should.

Look at those infidel’s mellons. Too bad she’s not a virgin.
Not good enough to you, my terrorist friend, am I right?

And no, I don’t care about jihads. Feel free to pay me a visit, this infidel’s home is at 22°47′40.93″S 43°12′0.45″W. Please aim your WMDs carefully.

December 26, 2007

Terrorists. I hate those guys

Filed under: Personal — Cardoso @ 11:09 pm

FRACK, FRACK, double FRACK.

A few years ago (ok, more like 10) it was easy to get a US Visa. All one needed to do was show enough juice to  pay for the tickets and a reasonable proof he/she was not going to stay as an illegal alien. Usually a moderately fay paycheck was enough.

But all good things must come to an end, and after 9/11, the red tap only multiplied. Now one can no longer apply for a Visa in a week’s notice. The process crawls for months, everything must be scheduled, sometimes the face-to-face interviews are only available in 60 days.

The Visas expire really fast, too. I remember, back in the 80s, people with +10years Visas. My last one was valid for 3 months only.

Guess what? My own US Visa IS long gone. Now my Editor-in-Chief comes with an Indecent Proposal: An invitation from a big software company to travel to the Consumer Electronics Show in Vegas, all expenses covered.

Can I go? No, because the farking show is 1/08, and no farking way I can get a Visa in such a short notice.

Frack. Fracking terrorists. Hate those guys.

December 25, 2007

Santa is gonna be late, kids…

Filed under: Personal — Cardoso @ 5:16 pm

At last for me.

I ordered a few hundred dollars of merchandise, from all around the globe (ok, USA and Hong Kong) right in the middle of the holidays, including my first eBay purchase. Yes, I’m not longer a virgin! oohrrah!

Only one seller replied with a shipping confirmation. Unfortunately, the cheapest and less useful (and desirable) item. I’ll not mention it, don’t want to hurt the seller’s feelings.

Now, let’s see if the Old Ninja Trick of ordering small packages and low-priced things work as a tax-avoidance maneuver. I really don’t want to pay taxes over some chinese crap, even if that chinese crap IS highly desirable.

Oh, no. My orders do not include a chinese bride. I think it’s very tempting, but I don’t speak chinese, the girls most likely will not speak portuguese. What would we do, if we can’t talk about our feelings and discuss our relationship all the time?? :):):):)

OK, chinese brides are expensive, that’s the real reason.

June 9, 2007

British Submarine, redux

Filed under: Humour — Cardoso @ 3:43 pm

A lot of blogs are talking about a british submarine, towed to the assembly yard. But I think it was missing something. OK, now it looks like a classic british submarine.

junglebook-submarine